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How To Put The Sizzle Back In Your Relationship With These Seven
By Colin Dunbar, Sat Dec 10th
Goal Setting and Relationships? That is not as weird as it may sound. Consider the followingdefinition of a goal: "A goal is a future incidence or eventthat is consciously worked towards." With this in mind, it isperfectly normal to make it your goal to improve yourrelationship, and these seven goal setting tools can help you. A great relationship is one of the finest things life can offer.When you choose your partner and start on a full-timerelationship, you look forward to a future of love, support,encouragement, communication and intimacy. We enter intorelationships for many different reasons and with many differentexpectations. Often, due to circumstances outside your control,a relationship can become a little tarnished.
You recognize that all people are different and that even themost compatible couple will have individual needs that differ attimes. Using just the seven goal setting tools discussed in thisarticle takes a give and take approach. Partners in arelationship who adopt this give and take attitude often feel asense of pride in modifying a need "downward" when they know itwill satisfy and stabilize their partner and the relationshipitself. Mutual giving flourishes in an atmosphere ofcooperation. Seven Goal Setting Tools Listening: Communication is the key to a lasting relationshipand listening is the key to communicating. Being a good listenertakes more than being attentive to your partner when he or shetalks with you. Good listening is a characteristic of a healthyrelationship. Give your mate full attention when he or she istalking. Listening without interrupting the other shows respectand also builds trust. Sometimes the greatest gift you can givesomeone is just to listen - with your heart. So listening helpsto improve relationship in great way. Small things: The small things are what constitute ourexistence. Once the excitement your partner brings to your worldbecomes familiar, it's the small things that thrill you both andthat will keep you connected and turned-on for the long run. Dothe small things you did when you first fell in love with yourmate. Remember the small things you did to show your love toyour mate? But as time went by, you probably began to getweighed down with simply living life and forgot the small thingsthat made the difference in the beginning. Small things like aphone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say, "I loveyou", a handwritten appreciative note, flowers, gifts, andopening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously goingback and doing the small things that you did when your lovefirst began to grow. Give attention: When each person has decided to give ofthemselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationshipof love, concern, and devotion. Consider your mate's interestsmore important than your own. Give attention to your mate'sinterests. All healthy relationships require consistent,ongoing, conscious attention to survive and thrive. It is asimple fact that whenever we give attention to something, we arechoosing to create more of it. Say 'thank you': One of the most useful phrases in improvingyour relationship is to say "thank you". These two magic wordswill make others feel closer to you and create loyalrelationships. This attitude of appreciation nourishes the heartof both participants and assures that each person's needs areattended to. Things like saying "thank you", re-charge yourrelationship. You know to say "thank you" when someone gives youa gift or does something special for you. However, if you'reseriously interested in improving your relationship, you need tolet your mate know how much you appreciate things that are notspecial, the things that we just take for granted because peopleare supposed to do them anyway. Tell your partner what is rightwith them, what you appreciate, value and cherish. Thank themrepeatedly
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and often. Appreciation makes your partner feelvalued. It also builds trust and a feeling of acceptance. Thesepowerful attributes act like a magnet to attract your partner toyou. Personalized gifts: Personalized are great not only forlife's special occasions. Personalized bring importantmoments to life and keep the memory alive forever. Express yourfeelings and show how much you care with personalized gifts. Itshows your partner how much you value your relationship.Personalized are always a winner because they are madeexclusively for your beloved, with care and attention. Choosegifts that reflect your partner's interests. Evening wrappingyour gift can be personalized. A little handwritten noteexpressing your gratitude can mean as much to your partner asthe gift itself. Also be sure to give the gift in person.Personalized gift giving is a great way to spread goodwill andcheer amongst each other. Feel special: Sometimes your partner likes to get noticed oncein a while. We like to feel appreciated for our actions,feelings and aspirations and want to be noticed andacknowledged. Become a person who notices these things in yourpartner and give a compliment often. It will make your partnerfeel special and know how that you care. The only way ourpartner knows what makes us feel special is if we speak up. Thegestures that make us feel special are different for each one ofus. Learning how to make each other feel special takes time andan awareness. Taking this journey of self-discovery together isone of the joys of a relationship. A key to a happy relationshipis a commitment to learn. It is an attitude of curiosity,discovery, and delight in each other. Learn this essentialrelationship wisdom, and you will make each other feel specialevery day. Unconditional love: Love is the primary energy in the universe.Giving unconditional love will deliver the greatest joypossible. The term 'unconditional love' means to love withoutterms and conditions, which means giving of yourself.Unconditional love is accepting another for exactly who theyare, not forcing the person to change to meet your expectationsof how they should be. It is about giving the person the freedomto be exactly who they want to be by allowing, supporting andenabling them in every way you can. Unconditional Love is trueneutrality; it does not judge or evaluate. It does not like ordislike. It does not blame, so it does not need to forgive. Itdoes not have choices or preferences, opinions or positions.Unconditional Love does not dictate, is not authoritative. Ithas no expectations other than what is. Put the Sizzle back Learning how to establish and maintain a loving, supportiverelationship is no different to setting any other goal. It takesinformation, planning, thought, skill, time, and most of all,attention. You learn your skills and styles from your parents,close friends and relatives. You watch them from the time youare little. They teach you both your roles in a relationship,and how to play them, through their example. This happens inevery family and much of the teaching is unintentional andunconscious. You can learn to be assertive (not aggressive) andto collaborate with your partner. You can learn to listen withyour mind and heart. You can learn to fight fair and resolveconflicts equitably and sanely. You can learn to value andacknowledge both yourself and your partner. You can learn tospeak from your heart and be safe. You can learn to ask for whatyou need and want. Use these seven goal setting tools, and put the sizzle back inyou relationship. This is just one of the areas that is coveredin the eaziGOAL system. About the author:Colin Dunbar is the creator of eaziGOAL, the system that offersyou 11 practical and proven goal setting tools to enable you toget what you want. Manual, workbook with goal settingworksheets, PLUS companion software. FREE newsletter. www.eaziGOAL.com
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